Humanity has developed to such high levels that we can now recollect on some of our most amazing achievements. We are living longer and killing each other in more imaginative ways than ever, however if truly need to take stock of a species then you must look at the things it creates. Human kind has beaten plagues, pestilence and peaceful protests through invention which many attribute to the rise of capitalism, so today we celebrate product design.
Capitalism is a funny thing as it demonstrates a complete move away from necessity, giving birth to some rather humorous inventions. So today we pay homage to the best worst products ever designed and thank capitalism for the hilarious image of people in suits sitting round board rooms and convincing themselves that these are not the worst things ever devised.
Cat Slippers
Any pet clothes are ranking up there in any worst product design competition however these whoppers actually take the biscuit. People designed these products and they were sanctioned by a team of managers, all giving their stamp of approval about these ridiculous cat slippers. OK so they might be kinder than declawing a cat but surely the cat would end up talking its own life out of sheer embarrassment eventually anyway.
Face Slimmer
It is actually a face slimmer. Although no-one in the FFG team can read Japanese, we are pretty sure that the slimming comes from living off a diet of human liver, fava beans and a nice Chianti as you will look like a slightly effeminate Hannibal Lecter in this masterpiece of crass health fad technology. The Japanese are known for their eccentricity but imagine waking up next to that in the morning, hmmmmm, on second thoughts.
Passive Fresh Air Inlets
Although they are a feature in many households, these are a special pet hate here at the FFG. What they are effectively selling is a hole in a perfectly good wall. It is like relabeling a window a temporary air conditioning unit; if you need fresh air then open a window, or you can opt for the latest in hole filling technology with special spinny bit in the middle to prevent squirrel attacks.
Japanese Cigarette… Thing
The Japanese are an inventive lot and you cannot make some sushi without breaking a few, well, fish. This one of their less technological feats of engineering which lights your cigarette from solar energy whilst almost making you look like a colossal berk.
Windows
The winner is of course Windows and all its devilish minions. We here at the FFG hate windows and look forward to dancing on its decrpid corpse whilst using the new Chrome OS that should be out in the next few months. That’s right, this whole post was about having a dig at Windows and hyow much they truly suck. Thanks for watching.
