In this turbo charged time managed consumable business world we live in ‘you gots to be having your game tight’ as the FT reported recently. Business is no longer done over a sparkling mineral water in the men’s toilets or a crème de menthe in the study of a stately home; it is done on the streets.

It is a well researched fact that executives are too busy to actually stop for meetings. Modern deals are clinched on the fly in ever increasing multi-tasking fashion. We see sales-execs closing whilst taking their poodle for a walk, signing on the dotted line during their wedding vows and most commonly whilst queuing at their favourite coffee house.

… and get stolen

We all have romanticised comedy images of a burglar; my personal delusion is the two henchman from the cartoon 101 Dalmatians.

Burglars have been depicted over years in print and on screen as a mechanism to satirise an object of fear. The striped jumpers, Zoro mask and bag marked swag are typical delusions, but how do you go about meeting the burglar of your dreams?

We did. It is unequivocal, we did it and you just saw!!!

We here at the FFG can take a lot of things. We liken ourselves to the Roy Orbison of satire sites but we have really hit our threshold with this one. If a member of our team hears “Oh No You Did-errrnt” one more time then we will be forced to salute and fire a canon ball directly into our own stern and in noble stature hum the FFG anthem as we gradually reside in the murky deep. We have no idea where this came from or which devilish minion of Beelzebub devised it, but we do know that it sucks more than Sucky the Octopus at the 2009 Suck Fair located in Sucksville, Illinois.

Welcome to the future – welcome to FaceFeed.

Forget the ‘Battle of the Browsers’ and the search war, the real cyber-blood is being spilt in the realms of social media. As Facebook begins to monetorise and Twitter gets abducted by aliens a new plot twist has developed in the social media saga.

It has been announced that Facebook has just acquired FriendFeed. For those of you who have recently been abducted by aliens, are on lock down translating rap lyrics or evaluating the latest in canine masturbatory aids, the FFG have done some research into FriendFeed.

Take Me To Your Tweeter

Budding micro-blog social media platform Twitter tweeted its last tweet this morning as it was ravaged by an unknown entity in a DoS attack. A DoS attack is a Denial of Service attack which equates to being abducted by aliens.

The real truth of the matter is that Twitter recently updated their ghost insurance policy to cover alien abduction and all this downtime is really a ploy to claim 63.45GBP in insurance fraud swag by staging a false abduction involving pots and pans robots and cut up Fairy Liquid bottles.

The FFG Needs Your Thoughts

“I’m meaner than a broke decked dog, I’m badder than a frog, I sit at home and drink beer which means man is a slob…”  – OK our rap career has not taken off yet but keep an eye out on YouTube for our first demo which should be coming soon, we are still in process of ‘getting inside the animal’.

In the meantime we here at the FFG have completed our bi-daily infrastructure review and freed one of our walls for our readers to graphitti over. We are looking for Banksy style wisdom to splatter over our new FFG Tag Space, so send us your thoughts, philosophy, mantra, limericks, gripes, moans, shouts, squeals, anythings and everythings.

Oh yeeeaaaaaaaaaa. The Fresh Food Group has finally landed.

After a long awaited period of administration, preproduction, consumer demographics, opinion polls, market research, gerbil tickling and other strenuous preparations, we are live.

The FFG is fundamentally a place for fresh thought. Sharing interesting, odd, subversive, wonderful, intense, terrible clap-trap with anyone who is willing to listen. The only rules are that there are no rules and we don’t play by anyone’s rules, not even our own. But that would be acknowledging that there are rules, so I guess there are rules but we don’t play by them – except the rules of gravity and language. If we didn’t play by the rules of language then this blog would read somewhat like this…